Archive

Archive for May, 2010

Top 5 London Phrases you should learn the meaning of before you arrive

ABWP has one of her bestest friends EVER coming to visit her, all the way from Chicago to rainy, cold London (only it is neither rainy nor cold at present–the shock!).  She has compiled a list of London translations in preparation for said friend’s arrival.  So.  She thought she would share it with her blogger friends (I think Lua is on her way to the UK soon–yes?).

“You all right?”  — Translation:  I am just being polite.  I do not care whether you are all right or not.  The only acceptable response to this is “yes.”

“Toilet closed for maintenance”  —  Translation:  The government is too lazy to clean this toilet.  This toilet will never be open again, ever.  You are welcome to poop on the pavement in protest.

“Please mind the gap” — Translation:  You better watch where you are bloody walking because if you fall over they’ll stop the whole tube line and I will be late.  Though I am too polite to say anything, I will totally stare daggers at you and you will feel VERY UNCOMFORTABLE.

“Line down due to a person under a train”  —  Translation:  No, this doesn’t mean someone is under the train to fix it.  For all the seeming politeness of London’s speeches, they don’t mind telling everyone that someone is squished and splattered all over the tracks.  Yuk.  Also, this seems to happen disproportionately often at Liverpool Street.  If you are feeling depressed DO NOT GO TO LIVERPOOL STREET STATION life is not that bad I promise everything will seem brighter and better later think of all the lovely G&Ts you can still enjoy.  Plus, you will make me late.

“Innit” —  Translation:  this is neither a word nor a phrase, but rather a bastardization of both.  It once meant “isn’t it” but now translates roughly to “I have no idea what to say but feel I should say something here”

Okay, so I feel this may sound somewhat snarky which is TOTALLY NOT TRUE I LOVE LONDONERS.  I am a convert.  Where else can you go where people will queue up for ONE SIDE of the escalator?

Bonus:  Only because I got one of these as a kid and am still recovering from the trauma–

“Honorable Mention”  — Translation: You are a complete and utter LOSER.  Actually, not only are you a loser, but you’re so STUPID that you WON’T NOTICE YOU ARE A LOSER as long as we give you this NON-AWARD.

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Writing in the 3rd Person

A Blank White Page has been toying with the idea of writing in the third person.  Her reasons for this are as follows:

1 – ABWP sometimes feels that the author of this blog is actually a separate person from her daytime alter-ego, so writing in the 3rd person seems natural.

2 – ABWP is currently writing a MS in the 1st person, so she’d like to keep her 3rd person writing skills fresh.

3 – Variety is the spice of life (yes, ABWP occasionally has VODKA with her tonic.  Sometimes she even has a pint!  She is a wild, adventurous soul!)

ABWP is interested in the effect this has on writing.  Her first MS was written in the 3rd person, but she has chosen 1st person for her current WIP.  She finds this quite limiting–but also quite exciting!  The intimacy!  The direct-line into the mind of the character!  But also only ONE character and perspective!

What think you, blogger-friends?  Do you prefer to read (or write) in one or the other?  What are the advantages and disadvantages of each?

The super-duper, never-heard-before secret to writing a novel in 30 days!

(Ha!  See what I did there?  Copywriting one-oh-one.)

Oh, sorry.  Did you actually want the secret?  Here it is:

Don’t.

I have been in the deep, dark pit of despair that is applying and interviewing for new jobs.  And have just turned down a job (direct-mail, selling white papers) to avoid writing headlines like this all day every day.  My soul cannot handle it.  But I fear my soul is slowly dying at the current job as well (though for other reasons).

Also, London has forgotten that it was sunny and lovely and we’ve all gotten out our summer dresses and sandals and reverted to winter!

On the plus side, however, on the tube the other day I saw a girl wearing white patent shoes, neon blue tights, neon pink shorts, a green-blue-and pink dress (all neon), a PATENT neon-pink jacket, and bright blue sunglasses.  Her boyfriend had green and blue hair.  Hooray!  A smile!

So blogger-friends, please pray (send good vibes, think happy-job thoughts, etc.) for me!

(I’m off to see what you’ve been up to)