In which ABWP gets “under the weather”

September 15, 2010 6 comments

So I’ve been a bit under the weather (which is not an excuse for not blogging more, but rather a fact).  Mostly I’ve had this hacking cough that makes me sound like a 50-something male smoker (which, for the record, I am not) but I gamely went into work (because being sick is for sissies).

For the record, I do not get “sick.”  I am occasionally “under the weather.”

And then my boss said something about it being bronchial, which it totally wasn’t because that makes it sound like a proper disease, and I do not get sick.  I denied this vehemently.  But apparently you can take something called colloidal silver which helps loads.

But then I googled it and found this, so I decided not to take it because I don’t want to be blue.

Besides, I wasn’t even sick.  But on my way home I passed a homeless guy who asked everyone for money (as they do). Except when I passed him all he said was “You’ve got Bronchitis, Luv.” Like he felt so sorry for me that he didn’t even want my change, and I would have had a MASSIVE HEAD EXPLOSION!!! except that I was so clogged up my head wouldn’t explode.

And then the next day my boss told me to stop being a martyr and go home, so I did.  Humph.  I think he got annoyed by all the coughing.

But, on the up side, I am now mostly better, back at work, and still not blue.

The Advertising and Marketing letter

August 24, 2010 6 comments

So if you work in advertising or marketing, you’ve probably already seen this letter, but it is great, and I thought I’d pass it along.

Of course this is amazing.  The source is unknown, but I found it via PSFK, who I found via Gapingvoid, and then passed it along to all my co-workers and linked to it in twitter, etc (yup, it’s gone VIRAL!).

Also, thought I’d share the conversation I had with my creative director shortly thereafter:

Creative Director: Where did you find this?

Me: It’s good, eh?

CD: Who wrote it?

Me: Don’t know.  “Brian,” apparently.  Probably some marketing person.  Clever, eh?

CD: It was you, wasn’t it?

Me: No, I found it online.

CD: It sounds an awful lot like your prose.

Me: It wasn’t me.

CD: Hmm [raised eyebrow suspicious look]

Me: I found it on the PSFK site.  You can go look.

CD: Ooo-kay [giant eye roll]

[Pause]

CD: I especially liked the bit about the sausages.

Me: Yeah?

CD: You like sausages. [massive eye-wagging]

Me: I do NOT like sausages.  Wait!  I mean, I do like, no–never mind.

[Pause]

CD: You totally wrote this.

(Okay, I made the sausage part up, but it’s soooo something my creative director would say.  Also, for the record, I do really like sausages.)

Twitter Fail

August 23, 2010 6 comments

So, I was all ready to get on twitter (for the first time in over a month) to rave about Serial Central, which is not a collaboration of serial killers, but rather an amazing new idea that gives you a piece of fiction every day, (rock on Lua, Miss Rosemary,Barb, et al), and then I saw this:

But then I tried again and it was all okay, so not that big of a FAIL after all.  But I got a screen grab.  And those last FOREVER.  Take that twitter.  Also, when I was on twitter I saw I had a direct message.  Ooh, exciting!  Someone randomly followed me (but, hey, that’s good right?), and as I must have been feeling rather welcoming, I followed back.  And this person sent me a direct message!  Oooh, the intrigue.  Imagine my disappointment, then, when I got this…

Huh.  So I thought about it a while, and sent this in return:

I haven’t heard back, so I guess he’s not in the extermination business.  Or maybe, like me, he only checks twitter once a month.  This is why I am anonymous.  But if you’re gonna send me messages on twitter, you’d better have a sense of humour.

Someone please send me something funny on twitter.  I’ll totally reply.  Probably a month later.  But still.

Binge Blogging

August 19, 2010 9 comments

So needing to write another blog post has been weighing on my mind for ages, and I haven’t gotten around to it for all the same reasons listed below.

My last post (over a month ago now) was on Procrastination and Rationalization.  Oh, the irony!

(really, this is at the MASSIVE HEAD EXPLOSION!!! level of irony)

It seems that I belong to the binge school of blogging.  If you’ve been around this blog you know what I’m talking about–I’ll be off the radar for a week or two, and then I’ll go back and read all of your blogs, comment on all the posts I’ve missed, respond to my own comments, and finally write another post.  You know who you are–you’re about to get a month’s worth of comments on your blogs!

Just counting how many of your posts I have to read to get up to speed is making me blush!  (Bethany, Lua, Rosemary–seriously?  You’re putting me to shame!)

The thing is, I’m like this with most things in life.  I was like this in University (you know, starting the term paper three days before the deadline and then not sleeping for two nights straight).  I’m like this with dieting (I eat chocolate and muffins until it becomes impossible to breathe in my jeans and I resemble a muffin myself, then switch to salads and lengthy runs around the park).  I’m even like this with laundry (you know, I’m out of clean knickers and down to my last pair of bikini bottoms before I do five loads straight).  I’m like this with my MS (nothing, then I get a burst and write a bunch of chapters).

Copyblogger calls this being a Sprinter, and I thought…totally not true copyblogger, when I run I’m pretty slow, but I can go for a long time.  Which means, I suppose, that there’s a bit of endurance runner and sprinter in all of us.  The trick is finding balance.

I’m (obviously) still working on it.  Suggestions welcome.

On rationalization and procrastination

Okay, so clearly it’s been a while since I’ve written a post.  And here’s a big list of all my excuses:

1) I was moving flats (clearly necessary to avoid stabbing, being devoured by mice, or similar)

2) I had to do work for clients (you know, the people who pay the rent in my new, non-mouse-infested flat)

3) I had to catch up with old friends (after many texts and emails with lots of scary capital letters and excessive punctuation using scary words like “intervention”)

4)  London has been sunny (okay, so I totally had to sit outside because London is NEVER sunny and this was perhaps my last chance to soak up and store some sun so I don’t die of vitamin D deficiency or similar come autumn)

5) I had to apply for jobs (yes, still, and some job applications are like NOVELS with the notable exception that novels are actually quite fun and interesting and job applications most certainly are NOT)

6) I had a MASSIVE HEAD EXPLOSION!!! and was, understandably, unable to write coherent sentences thereafter

So.  This is a lovely bit of rationalization.  And it isn’t good enough.  But I do this all the time, with this blog and–scarily–with my current WIP.  But there is no excuse for letting something that matters so much to me to slide for so long!

What do you think, blogger friends?  How do you beat the procrastination and rationalization bug?

Also…an aside: I wanted to give credit to Bill Waterson for the Calvin and Hobbes comic strip above.  Because, let’s face it, Calvin and Hobbes was brilliant and the “funnies” just aren’t the same any more.  But I couldn’t find an official site.  Best I can do is tell you to buy the books here. I have all the books.  If you don’t, you should buy them because they are amazing and you’ll smile for months.  (Disclaimer: I am not in any way affiliated with Calvin and Hobbes or publishers, booksellers, or similar but I totally wish I was because, as I said, they are amazing)

Londoners, you rock!

June 24, 2010 8 comments

So I was on the tube today, minding my own business and being kinda after-work-grouchy (also it is actually WARM in London, which should be lovely but means that the tube is like a SAUNA only instead of the lovely woody-aromatherapy steam it’s BO-armpit steam which is not nearly as nice), when a bunch of football idiots climbed onto the tube in their football colours and sang some foreign anthem REALLY LOUD the ENTIRE WAY.  And I sat very quiet and very still while I had a little private MASSIVE HEAD EXPLOSION!!!

They even had a whistle-thingie.  And they were being LOUD and OBNOXIOUS on purpose just to annoy everyone, and you could feel the everyone in the entire carriage think that they were SO UNLUCKY to be in this particular carriage.

And this is what I love most about Londoners…

No one even looked their way.

Londoners, you guys are AWESOME.  We all know that all the shouting idiots wanted was for someone to look at them the wrong way, or to get angry, or to say something, or to ACKNOWLEDGE their sorry excuse for an existence.  They wanted to get a rise out of people and NOT ONE PERSON gave them the satisfaction.  I have never seen an entire tube carriage so interested in their newspapers.  Never seen people so intent on listening to their iPods (okay, they were totally just pretending to listen because I had my iPod volume full blast and still couldn’t hear anything above the shouting–but they were GREAT at pretending).

Ha!  Take that you annoying tube-shouters!  You are TOO BORING for us to EVEN NOTICE YOU!  Only in London could a group of strangers pull together so quickly without exchanging a single word.

Okay, so now I think I sound old and snarky but if you were there your head would have exploded as well.

Ooh! ABWP is blushing a bright red!

June 24, 2010 8 comments

Well, gee.  And here I was all ready to write a snarky post about something or other.  And then I saw that I had been awarded this lovely little award by both Bethany (my first-ever commenter and blogger-friend) and Miss Rosemary!  Thank you, thank you to you both! Everyone should check out both their blogs.

Er, and so I am required to provide seven revelations (confessions) on the personage that is (behind)  ABWP.  Here goes…

1) I like to read silly, teen books like Twilight and Harry Potter but I only take serious Cormack McCarthy, Virginia Wolf, etc books on the tube.  Because people will see.  And I am too old to be seen reading Harry Potter.

2) I am terrified of rubber bands.

3) Orange is my favourite colour, and I have orange toenails throughout the summer months.

4) I am uncommonly short.  I try to hide this with the constant use of monster heels (which sometimes get stuck in the groves of the tube escalator) to no avail.

5) I drink pints far more often than gin.  (This is totally a financial decision.  I would drink Tanqueray and Tonic all the time if it was the same price as a pint.  Because gin is way more delicious.  But times are tough.)

6)  Sometimes I can’t sleep because I worry that this MS that I am writing will end up unpublished, unread, and unfulfilled just like my first MS that is now collecting dust in a corner.  And I wonder what my life will have meant, if I cannot do just this, this one little thing that I have always wanted and that I somehow use to measure my self worth.  This is when the gin helps.

7) The human behind ABWP is fairly quiet, proper, and actually kind of a nice person (hard to believe, I know) who cares about soft, mushy things like other people’s feelings (she is only kinda snarky to very special people who know her well).  This is kind of a secret.  Don’t tell anyone.

And now I get to pass it along!  Hooray!  I’m totally mentioning people who’ve gotten it already because I like them.  So there.

1) Lynsey May – She’s got a great perspective on writing, and also has a copy day job so can relate to a lot of my copywriting rants (always appreciated).

2) MilkFever – Lisa is great for encouragement.

3) Write for your life – good info on general writing and the techie stuff like podcasts

4)  Write-or-die – straight talking,.no-nonsense account on writing books

5)  Rachelle Gardner – for a literary agent, there’s a lot of great variety on her blog (hence the mention)

6) Lua – my 2nd ever commenter, and another faithful blogger-friend who consistently posts great content and is lightning quick responding to comments.

7) I’m using this as a combined re-thanks to Bethany, my first-ever commenter (yup, we hit it right off) and Miss Rosemary for the award (I know you’ve already got one, but you totally deserve it).