Posts Tagged ‘reading’

On Beauty

March 8, 2010 5 comments

Okay, this has nothing to do with writing, copywriting, even reading (though I have given it the same title as a lovely book by Zadie Smith).  But it’s FASHION WEEK.  Besides, no one wants to read and write about reading and writing all the time.

Fashion, on the other hand, is terrifying exciting. Take Karl Lagerfeld’s show:  leather, apparently, is IN (Oh God, Oh God–massive rush for gym membership, detox drinks, slimline tonic).

In the midst of ensuing panic, however, I had a moment of clarity.


Time spent in misery in an effort to attain beauty:

  • 30min/day running (in crappy, cold, London mist)
  • 30min/day toning (ugh, ugh, sit-ups: very miserable)
  • 30min/day doing make-up (mascara in eye, ouch!)
  • 15min/day doing hair
  • 15min/week waxing (1 hour every 4 weeks–though should count double as very, very painful = extreme misery)
  • 3hr/day wishing could have cake but too many calories (actual number much higher but rounding down)
  • 15min/day eating rice cakes and celery instead of big cheesy pizza

Total: 35hrs,15min per week of misery

Time spent enjoying beauty:

  • 30min/day looking in mirror (though shouldn’t count really, as imagine most of this would be while putting on make-up)
  • 30min/week enjoying compliment about said beauty (estimate)

Total: 4 hours/week of enjoyment

Grand Total:

  • 35+ hours per week of misery trying to attain beauty
  • 4 hours per week enjoying beauty

Conclusion: Beautiful people are stupid.

Hah!  Take that Paris Fashion Week!

Am off to stuff my face with pizza, cake, and ice cream in celebration of intellectual superiority (because, clearly, it follows that the reverse must also be true…)